The Mexico Story

Things have been very busy lately, but nothing really new to report, so I thought I would start documenting some of my earlier misadventures. This story is actually the original misadventure. It was after telling this story at a party that I realized I might not be normal like everyone else (I had a sneaking suspicion before that, but nevermind)... Oh well, put on your way-back goggles, cause we are going all the way back to 1992.

Insert way-back wavy visual here...

In 1992 I was working for a small travel agency called Albany Travel, located suprisingly enough in my hometown of Albany, Oregon. My wife and I were expecting our first child. Times were very tight, at one point the year before I had done a quick unofficial phone survey and found that the fry-personel at McDonald's were making better money than I was in at Albany Travel. The one upside was every once in a while we got to travel and we love to travel, so it all works out right? So one day when my boss came in and announced that he needed me to go to Mexico on a "business" trip, I was thrilled. My wife who was 3 months pregnant was not. Pregnancy does not bode well with my wife, while she is very happy to be pregnant, she is pretty much miserable the whole 9 months. At this point we were just exiting what I like to call the "Morning Sickness from Hell" phase headed steadily for the "Massively Uncomfortable for the Next 4 Months" phase. It may have just been the nesting instinct talking but she finally agreed to let me go. I was cleared to go on my first international trip.

The first couple of days of my trip were very uneventful. I spent two days in Guadalajara, which has some lovely museums, but our story really picks up when I landed in Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo. For those who are unfamiliar with the Ixtapa/Zihuat area, a quick intro. In the late 80's and early 90's massive amounts of money was poured into the Ixtapa area, it was expected to be the next Puerto Vallarta or Mazatlan. Ixtapa is centered on a nice beach with 7 or 8 skyscraper hotels and all the resort amenities. It kind of reminds me of Waikiki, except with sombreros. Right next door is Zihuatanejo, a small mexican town which wraps around an astonishingly beautiful bay and features La Playa Ropa, one of the most gorgeous beaches in Mexico. One thing I forgot to mention, Albany Travel was really two businesses; the travel agency and a travel wholesale company called Love Mexico Tours. Love Mexico sold reservations at small mexican hotels that usually weren't represented by american firms. Which is why I was here. My job was to do hotel inspections at all of our properties in the area. My home base was the Hotel Irma in Zihuatanejo, our flagship property. We actually represented 3 hotels in Zihuatanejo, The Irma, her sister hotel The Fiesta Mexicana and an amazingly upscale hotel called The Hotel Villa Del Sol (We get to these hotels in a few moments).

I arrived at The Irma late in the afternoon on Saturday. It is a modest mexican hotel on the cliffs in Zihuatanejo. The view is Phenomenal.

Here are some current pictures of The Irma Hotel from our friends at Hotels.com. There are several pictures of the restaurant at the hotel, this location will come up later in our story.

Having arrived on Saturday, I was kind of stuck. If you have traveled in Mexico, you know that not much work takes place on Sundays. Fortunately our local ground operator offered to take me snorkeling. So bright and early the next morning I headed out with several of the ground operator's staff on a trimaran to a spot just outside Zihuatanejo bay. I had never snorkeled before so this was quite a treat. I spent several hours in the water paddling about while almost everyone else stayed on the boat. I found out why when I got back onboard. They stayed on the boat because the captain was serving a wonderful mexican lunch. By the time I got down to the galley all that was left was a few tortilla crumbs in the bottom of a bowl and a cooler full of Coronas. I was voraciously hungry at this point and things were about to take a turn.

Score:
Mexico - I / Al - 0

The boat ride back to Zihuatanejo was the longest hour of my life. I swear by the time I got in the taxi back to the hotel, I was starting to waste away. When I reached the hotel I flew to my room to shower and dress. Upon getting out of the shower I noticed my skin was warm. Very, very warm. A quick check in my bag confirmed that my sunscreen was not waterproof. At this point I was not worried, I had never burned easily and I was sure by morning everything would be fine, besides I was STARVING! So I headed down to the hotel restaurant, which overlooks the bay. I did not have a lot of money on this trip, but that night I didn't care. I ordered one of just about everything on the menu. The first entree to come was the nachos. My experience with nachos up to this point had been tortillas covered in cheese and various other toppings. Nachos ala Irma were a little different. What was placed in front of me was a plate covered in guacamole. Twenty or so tortilla chips were standing straight up in the green mixture. I don't really like guacamole, but I ate it like it was my favorite food on the planet. This was just the first of several courses to come. As I stuffed myself, the tv set (the only one in the hotel), blaired a sunday night variety show, kind of mexican version of Lawerence Welk...and all was well with the world , for the time being.

After a huge dinner I retired, exhausted to my room. I fell asleep instantly. Sometime around 3 in the morning, I was woken up by a strange noise. I lay there for a minute listening. I heard it again. It was moaning, I definitely heard moaning. After a few minutes, I heard it again. I thought wow, the people next door are really enjoying their mexican vacation. After a few more minutes, I realized it was me moaning. To be continued...